Comments on: Outgrowing Relationships

By: Carmen

Carmen — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 12:35:08 +0000

Thank You Deepak for sharing always wisdom and helping us all along the way to enrich our quality of life in all its aspects!!! LOVE!!!

By: lisa

lisa — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 20:56:16 +0000

How I view my partner seems to have everything to do with what I find when I poke around inside myself. Negative ideas about him have a lot to do with negative places within me. However, as a parent of young children, I sometimes weigh the benefits of staying in the marriage while sorting through all this- with our children at witnesses- or separating to spare them the drama. I am aware that the drama (inner and outer) will follow me, whereever and with whomever I go. Therefore I lean towards working on the marriage (and coming to know myself) for as long as I can. I hope this choice will give them inner stability that I have a hard time imagining them having otherwise.

By: harry

harry — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 18:48:57 +0000

what about the a parent’s reponsibility towards their young kids of this ended relationships …I beleive there is absolutely something gigantic or a link missing in this path of spiritual evolution and human mankind can find it; individualism is not the answer,we don’t see a flower growing all alone in the middle of the desert do we ?

By: eliya

eliya — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 13:15:23 +0000

I personally found great freedom in understanding why relationships may come to an end.I had been blaming myself(as always)until I realized that energies are never static. This is a fact and neither positive nor negative. A delicious meal always has to end, but the enjoyment experienced is never diminished. Deepak said it beautifully.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 14:31:51 +0000

Even for an hour, Deepak.
On the other hand, I have had a strong, strong connection with my mother, who is almost 94 years old.
In the past year I have uncovered how truly deep and on how many many levels this connection has been. It has been an exhausting, frustrating, guilt-producing, depressing DRAINING, EXHAUSTING, SAD “overtaking” or “inhabitance” of me my whole life.
I’ve been making tremendous progress letting it go in the past year and think I’m close to a (final, I hope) release.
The grief is present and I have been sobbing and sobbing. I called her yesterday and told her that I know she knows I love her, but I just wanted to make sure she knew that and that I could not carry her unprocessed life-long experiences anymore. I told her that I am safe and fine and will be fine under God’s care, so if she wants to let go, it is okay. She wants to pass over, but this Catholic is “leaving it in God’s hands”. Of course it is sad. I’ve experienced what she has not allowed herself to feel her whole life. Giving that up is necessary for me, but extremely difficult.

By: richard

richard — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 13:27:19 +0000

my deepest thanks Deepak.

By: sebastien le normand

sebastien le normand — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 20:38:53 +0000

i would simply refer to a “guru” that i can relate a lot to ( and to his tarot ); Osho and his card called “the dream ” :
This has been said again and again, down through the ages. All the religious people have been saying this: “We come alone into this world, we go alone.” All togetherness is illusory. The very idea of togetherness arises because we are alone, and the aloneness hurts. We want to drown our aloneness in relationship…. That’s why we become so much involved in love. Try to see the point. Ordinarily you think you have fallen in love with a woman or with a man because she is beautiful, he is beautiful. That is not the truth. The truth is just the opposite: you have fallen in love because you cannot be alone. You were going to fall. You were going to avoid yourself somehow or other. And there are people who don’t fall in love with women or men–then they fall in love with money. They start moving into money or into a power trip, they become politicians. That too is avoiding your aloneness. If you watch man, if you watch yourself deeply, you will be surprised–all your activities can be reduced to one single source. The source is that you are afraid of your aloneness. Everything else is just an excuse. The real cause is that you find yourself very alone.
Osho Take it Easy, Volume 2 Chapter 1
Commentary:
Some enchanted evening you’re going to meet your soulmate, the perfect person who will meet all your needs and fulfill all your dreams. Right? Wrong! This fantasy that songwriters and poets are so fond of perpetuating has its roots in memories of the womb, where we were so secure and “at one” with our mothers; it’s no wonder we have hankered to return to that place all our lives. But, to put it quite brutally, it is a childish dream. And it’s amazing we hang on to it so stubbornly in the face of reality. Nobody, whether it’s your current mate or some dreamed-of partner in the future, has any obligation to deliver your happiness on a platter–nor could they even if they wanted to. Real love comes not from trying to solve our neediness by depending on another, but by developing our own inner richness and maturity. Then we have so much love to give that we naturally draw lovers towards us.

By: Michael dillon

Michael dillon — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 14:03:07 +0000

I can relate to this question. It’s hard to move foward when others can not understand because there awakening has not fully begun yet. Part of me wants to be the same because that’s what we are used to and comfortable with and my relationships were built on that. But growth is change and sometimes change is hard.

By: Sheetal

Sheetal — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 11:24:56 +0000

Relationship fading is fine only if its mutual but if its due to one person , the other person suffers all the agony and lives with die hard hope.That’s the worst part of it . I believe Compassion and unconditional love is the only truth. Its the weakness of the person if is not able to give the entire life to the loved one .

By: michele Kay

michele Kay — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 09:51:41 +0000

wow…this was perfectly timed as I am struggling with my significant other. I am forever grateful, sad and confused. I am not sure which way it will go. But thank you for the words of wisdom.
always,
Michele

By: Mary

Mary — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 02:19:14 +0000

Thank you for affirming a process that I began a year ago. My ex and I have now evolved to the point that we share a warm and caring friendship after 29 years of marriage! Our children acknowledge that it has been a positive change for us both.
Metta

By: Claudia Leyva

Claudia Leyva — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 21:12:10 +0000

Thank you for your words, they inspire me!
Hugs!

By: Brooke

Brooke — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 20:30:44 +0000

Yes! Love and ultimately forgiveness if there is hurt involved.

By: Bill

Bill — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 20:10:48 +0000

I couldn’t agree more. The important thing is to always be grateful for the love you find in your life even if it doesn’t last a lifetime. Moving on is never an easy thing to do but if you try to keep the love in your heart for the other person it becomes a little easier.

Hugs,

Bill