I had a similar childhood to you. The cellular fear of repeating the mistakes of ones family and having no close positive role model makes the thought of kids very deeply scary and when I was younger I assumed I would never have them (it was also so unspiritual ;-)!!!) . Know very deeply that you will not repeat the same mistakes, you will find all the support you need when you need it, life will fill in the gaps you cannot manage and you have plenty of time. Feel full, happy and passionate and allow the unlikely to happen ( my husband had been a friend for five years, and I never imagined the emotional bomb that went off one day) so even if it totally changes your life, take the leap if it comes. I married someone of totally different background, religion and interests, moved to a very far away continent (Africa) giving up a very successful top flight career. I can remake and rebuild all those connections.. nothing is ever lost or wasted. I just got much much broader, deeper, compassionate and had space to improvise parenting far away from my culture of birth. I may or may not have done that brilliant a job, (I was still deeply scared to ‘pollute’ my amazing children) and deeply regrettable things happened, not intended but still bad mistakes that I am responsible for and acknowledge, and the boys are kind people and seem to be doing very very fine.

Marry a kind man, drop as many images of romance and expectations as possible, know the wisdom of no escape, realise you will not marry yourself but someone completely unique to themselves and different, be prepared to grow and be changed, and expect it to be challenging, befuddling, difficult, fun and easy all at the same time.

Please may Grace shower you as much as she so so emptied her bathtub on me.

With very much love

Sue

I was a Christian and baptized 20 years ago and also practiced Buddhism and received my Buddhist name 10 years ago.
I read many spiritual books and listened to inspirational CDs…

Still there was always something missing in my life which made me feel incomplete and unsatisfied.
I thought it was the life situation I was in : I didn’t feel much loved by my parents, I was never satisfied with my 10 year marriage which ended up divorce, and a breast cancer.

It was three years ago when my life started changing after a workshop, Finding True Self.
I met my soul for the first time in my life at age 45.
My soul was always there but never I experienced it.
Through several trainings which are physically, mentally, and spiritually combined I released negative emotions, memories and preconceptions from my body and my brain, and found why I came to this life, and found my life purpose.

I found joy and love within me which I never thought I had before.
Now I’m living very healthy and happy life everyday with gratitude, hope, and dream.

From my experience I want to say
before you try to find your life partner I hope you can find who you are and why you came to this life, first
because your life partner, no matter how great the person would be, won’t be able to tell you who you are and why you came to this life.

Unless you live the life your soul wants to live you won’t be satisfied whether you are single or married, whether you have children or not.

It is very hard to change our life with only spiritual effort because our life history is engraved in our body, in every single cell of our body.
That’s why we need to combine physical training along with spiritual and mental training together to release all the negativities we have been accumulated through our life. As you change your body you can try all the method you know to generate positive vibration which will attract positive things you want to have in your life.

I’m a computer software engineer and telling this from my own experience.
If you have any question please feel free to contact me at ohgeunlee@yahoo.com.

With love,

Joy

One exercise that has immensly helped me whenever you feel you are sad or in pain, that is triggered by some person or some event, immediately analyze your feelings. Why are you feeling that pain, are you associating that event with something in the past, an event that was not addressed, when did you feel the same kind of pain before, keep writing or typing everything that comes to your mind. After you have jotted down everything, name that feeling, surrender to it and invite it within you. Ask it to stay as much as it wants to and then leave whenever it wants to, like a perfect host, you will honor that feeling even when it has hurt you.

Another exercise that I am trying is being your own partner. Look at the way you address yourself. Try and fall in love with yourself all over again. If you are too harsh to yourself, apologize. Take care of yourself, cook a nice meal, dress well, appreciate yourself. Surrender to the path to love without conditions of finding someone special, with ultimate devotion and without a timeline. When you go to bed, say I let go of my grievances and choose miracles. Thy will be done. When we are seeking, we dont get what we want but when we detach ourselves from the outcomes, all our dreams come true. It’s like Magic. 🙂

Yes Amen Debbie I have found my Prince Charming-
Hope you have too…

Keep doing what your doing, as you stated…..regular meditations, affirmations and so forth….

Because the beautiful relationship between you and your creator is still flowering- The most beautiful and long lasting and forever most trusting healthy relationship you will ever have, is the one you have with your Creator…..God…

When that relationship is fully acknowledged, loved and adored for itself, you will no longer look outside of you for it, and you will never feel alone- ……And no doubt , that is when you prince charming will appear…

Love,
Gyanama

Interestingly enough, I was listening to a CD of Wayne Dyer and Deepak Chopra today on manifesting which requires 1. Wishing 2.Desire 3.Will or Intention 4.Passion & 5. The hardening of the Will
I hear that you have a wish, the desire, and the intention. Start working on Passion. Passion for your Life and anticipation of all the exciting things & love that will come into your life in ANY form.

The hardening of the will requires that you become free of the good opinion of other people. This means discovering who you are and be yourself(without all the drama of your past life which you still carry with you) When you can release your “Story” you free yourself to create something new, fresh and exciting.

Hardening of your will, in your case, I believe will require that you also give up the universal conscious thought that your clock is ticking. Open up yourself to the possibility that ANYTHING can happen. Good Luck.
Terri