Comments on: Why We Have Our Parents

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 13 May 2011 18:53:26 +0000

I understand this as well, consider it a life lesson, look to yourself for comfort. Everything happens for a reason and ALL emotions are valid. Be kind espically to yourself.

By: tracy

tracy — Wed, 11 May 2011 19:01:53 +0000

I understand that situation , i had a disfunctional childhood my parents where similar.
you know you have to forgive them for it all, thats the answer in my experience .
But it can be hard when your still healing the wounds long after you left home. i have spent 20 years trying to repair the damage and the solution i found was forgiveness,i didnt understad why it all happened ,I stopped looking for justice and entertaining those ideas in my mind, then i made peace with God for allowing that to happen to me,its not easy, it takes a long time .The reason i think these things happen is karmic debt,you can choose to forgive and end the suffering or you can carry it into another life where you may be in a position of authority over your previous parents and because you carry with you the anger and a sense of injustice from your previous life, you inflict the same damage on them and it goes on and on until someone forgives and lets it go.

By: anpao

anpao — Thu, 05 May 2011 10:08:51 +0000

I believe that using your energies to more fully heal and bring in more love to your life could be far more productive (and can provide an increasingly loving and happy model for your mom) than trying to interact with her, “save” her or endure more drunken behavior. I believe an adult knows where help is; your priority should be working toward love and fulfillment in your own life, while in your heart you continue to hope for and love her, you do not allow her to continue to hurt and hamper you. You might send her a card once a month or some such, to remind her you love her, without reinforcing your wounds by going to visit her, until she chooses to become sober. Focus the beam of your life toward your own blossoming.

By: Vaishali

Vaishali — Thu, 05 May 2011 08:08:22 +0000

I would suggest that, for person asking this question, he/she shoudl get her parents some help. They definitely need help, better late than never. As we grow up and become adults we atleast now know it is a clinical condition that can be treated and people can come out of alcoholism. Have compassion for them, no matter how unreasonable they are, they are still your parents.

By: Brian Downey

Brian Downey — Wed, 04 May 2011 17:27:16 +0000

Parents…adoptive, biological, step, foster…they all betrayed me in one way or another and the formative years left me with a mixed bag of realities; character, strength, and decades of healing to do. Fast forward to today and I have no anger at any of them (they’re all dead) and when I look around at grown adults whose sense-of-being is still entwined in their parents I realize how lucky I am to have the opportunity to find myself in the aloneness of being without being attached to parents or siblings. Family connections have importance but inevitably we all must come to terms with the self by thyself…

By: heartphone

heartphone — Wed, 04 May 2011 15:10:11 +0000

When a woman gives birth to a child she has been given a present. But it is a present she cannot own ever!

Every child born in this world has the right to grow up in a protective environment so that at a certain age it can stand on his/her own feet. And not only a man but also a woman.

It is up to Us women to firmly stand in this belief! With two feet on the ground!

By: heartphone

heartphone — Wed, 04 May 2011 15:04:14 +0000

My parents raised me so that I could become independent of them.
What is the whole purpose of growing up?
Only thing is that in a patriarchal society as a woman, you will need two big feet to stay grounded in this knowledge.

Am happy I raised my children in this way.
Am happy at my age I can live my life making my own dreams come true and my children enjoying me doing so!!!

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Wed, 04 May 2011 14:14:06 +0000

My parents have always lived with a glass more than half empty. “That won’t work!, You can’t do that!” etc… Four years ago I asked for an apology for things that were said and done. My parents would rather be “right” in their mind and not be a part of my life. In many ways letting go of them has let me become the person I think I was meant to be. I am more confident, at peace, and happy. The weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. Of course, initially it was painful because I think I expected my parents to always have my back. Now I realize the saying, “you can pick your friends but not your family”, must exist because I am not the only one that feels this way. Surround yourself with positive people and do things that make you happy. We only get one ride on the roller coaster of life.
Namaste

By: Apam

Apam — Wed, 04 May 2011 10:08:38 +0000

As if such things were easy. I am in the same situation, but I have no support team… not even friends, and I am not old enough to sustain my self. I feel helpless, and lost…. what do you suggest I do?