After the Relationship Sizzle Has Died
A family friend and I ventured into a romantic relationship. The excitement has died out. My thoughts say that it’s because he’s financially insecure, he gradually moved into my apartment, and I feel stifled from saying things that are in my heart. We’ve been like this for 6 months and now the sizzle is out. We’re dealing with a lot of issues. I was molested as a child, so we’re working on the intimacy issues. Also, he’s an artist and has random income streams, and we’ve been addressing the financial issues. We’ve become less affectionate towards each other, and this bothers me too. As of this week, his mother was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. Upon hearing this news, I felt angry, and upset for several reasons. One I wanted to get closer to his mother over the last year (since we’ve been together). The feeling came from deep within. Now I am mourning the loss of her health (and soon her death) without feeling like I fulfilled some roll in her life. Another, is that I come from a culture where we make formal announcements about dating and introduce this to our parents. I feel denied of that opportunity. With all of these issues surfacing, I feel (at my core) that I’ve betrayed who I am. My initial reaction is to want out, and yet I feel that the timing is totally wrong to say this to him. However, I’ve already checked out emotionally. What should I do?