Pain on the Path
When one begins the path to Enlightenment, I’ve read it can be from either what we would call a painful or a wonderful experience. My enlightenment began when I fell in love with a man whom I left my husband for. I thought he was the love of my life. After leaving my marriage of 13 years and hurting my beautiful 9 year old son, I found out he was nothing I desired. I was soooooo incredibly blind and he had lied to me horrifically. Alone one night after the midst of just beginning to find out his truth, I fell to my knees and asked God to forgive me for whatever I had done to deserve this. Then the most amazing thing happened, I heard a deep voice inside me say “stand up my child for you are loved”. I realized then that God was nothing but love. I grew up in a religious family and had been taught God punishes us. I began to read your books and many others. I have forgiven this man as I see him now as a child who is hurting himself deeply. Though, he has been the greatest Teacher in my life and doesn’t even know this. I love and care about him still as a friend. I feel as if he is the reason I am now reaching out to find myself. It has been almost 4 years since I left my marriage. My now 12 year old son has begun to ask why I left his father. I feel this deep pain inside of me often when I think about my son and how he must feel. I’m scared to tell him I left his father for another man. Should I tell him the truth? I know he would still love me but I don’t know if he would understand and I don’t want to hurt him even more. I am only beginning my path but why did it have to begin with so much pain and hurt others? Your insight would be much appreciated.