Contemplating Suicide

There are extremely challenging things happening in my situation and have been for a prolonged period. I’m wondering if you feel that the universe sometimes sends you a message that this time on the karmic wheel is such a rough ride that it might be better for you and those close to you if you jump off and hope for a smoother ride next time. I have felt extremely suicidal for a couple of months and don’t know what to do as I have children and a family who would be devastated yet I think I bring them pain due to the things that seem to happen in my life. Almost like despite all the love I bring to them I bring them pain as well, which I find unbearable. How can I know which will benefit them more, my being around or out of their way?