Gratitude and Growth

I’m 48 and in a dead end job.  I know I should be grateful to have a well-paying job today, but I can’t change if I keep saying I’m grateful because the universe hears you say that and I will be stuck forever in my job that is absolutely boring and dead-end.  I feel too that I don’t know what to do with my life.  I cry often because I meditate and never get any answers and say well God is busy with more pressing issues, okay, I don’t want to be selfish, but I don’t want to just exist in this world.  I just can’t figure it out.  Just writing this, tears are falling.