Growing With Your Spouse
How do I live with someone who will not grow with me? My husband and I have been together for almost six years and those years have been fraught with fights and misunderstandings. It didn’t help that we were both drinking alot. He was a very insecure person to begin with but a year and a half ago he was burned very badly. He was in the hospital for several months, lost his right hand and he almost died. I never left his side, slept in a chair in his room and helped with all his wound care. Something happened to me during this experience and I see things very differently but he is still the same. I don’t drink anymore and I started eating a plant based diet and exercising regularly. I even went back to school, I’ve wanted to for a long time but didn’t out of fear. I don’t seem to have many fears these days, I look at life so differently now, everything is so fresh and wonderful. I’ve also grown as a person, I’ve read about twenty of your books and I love Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now. I don’t know how to explain it, I’m just not the same person anymore. Something happened to me and I can’t go back to being who I was and my husband doesn’t understand, he wonders were his wife went. I’m a lot more at peace with myself and life than I’ve ever been and I don’t look at my husband the same way anymore. For the first time I can see him for who he really is and I feel so much love for him, and it doesn’t hinge on whether he’s being nice or not. Sometimes my heart seems like it’s going to explode. The problem is that he hasn’t changed and he’s even more insecure than before. I love and accept him for who he is but he can’t see it and I’m always having to defend myself. He refuses to be any different than he’s always been and he doesn’t know who I am anymore. I thought for sure that he would be changed by his experience as well, especially when he talked to me about seeing a friend that passed away a few years ago and how peaceful he felt there and how he didn’t want to come back. I hadn’t known anything had happened in the operating room but when he came to he was so earnest that I know that he came back for me. He just kept repeating “I came back for you, I came back for you”. I don’t feel like we’re on the same path anymore and I don’t know what to do. I love him with all my heart and all the things about him that used to make me so mad don’t even bother me, I just want the chance to love him and show him how much I love him. How can I do that when he keeps accusing me of things because he’s insecure and always wants to be upset. Please help me I feel were in two different worlds, and I feel like I’m going to lose him when all I want to do is love him.