I have been in a relationship for 22 years, the first 18 were fine, then slowly over the last few years things have changed. My partner now seems very intolerant of what I do and what I say. We are both practitioners of Vipassana meditation, and my partner meditates every morning and has done so for the past 35 years!. Our differences of opinion lately, have been very frequent and are now escalating in to him becoming very loud and very vocal and angry, not a characteristic that I would ever have expected to see. He comes across to all people as a passive, caring, loving, lovely man. When we have a disagreement and I try later to talk to him about why this might be happening, I get told that it is in the past, and now everything is fine. I understand this, but my emotions get very affected by the intensity, so it takes me awhile to let go. I am also told that I start 95% of any disagreements, and that I need to change. If I suggest something about his behaviour, I get told “one finger pointing, three fingers pointing back”. My partner always seems to have a quote or saying to cover everything. I am feeling guilt, I am feeling overwhelmed, I am feeling scared. I am feeling my emotions strongly in my body, and am trying hard, i try to watch my sensations and not get caught up in them but at times I seem to be failing dismally. I know that I obviously contribute to the conflict, but feel that I will be giving in to his demands and kowtowing to all his demands if there is to be a change. He says he needs to change as well, but he continues with the same intolerance, and is still loud and angry. When we argue he becomes very personal and belittling, I find this very hurtful, he sees that as a weakness, “getting caught up in my ego”. I am now thinking it may be better to walk away and let go of this relationship. Thank you for listening,
