It is always a pleasure to hear you speak and I am especially happy to hear you speak on the ” I am ” meditation. I read a book that was on a suggested list at the end of one of your books. It was called ” I am ” and was written by a man who seemingly had an awareness beyond most. His teacher told him when he began to just meditate on ” I am ” . I am not sure how to spell his name , but here I will try..Sri Prammanasudh. I hope this rings a bell and jogs your memory. I believe it was an inspirational book for you as well and if memory serves me correctly you had the opportunity to meet this gentleman.
Anyways, to make my point I will cut to the chase. I am a member of the 12 step program for drug addiction and I am a survivor of sexual abuse. Within the Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous programs we refer to our selves as addicts and alcoholics. When we introduce ourselves we say ” I am an addict and my name is…” . I have had a thought since I adopted this meditation of ” I am ” when I introduce myself at meetings. I would like to just say ” I am” , but that does not fit within the program. I feel that by saying I am an addict, it will always be so. If I say ” I am ” I am not being entirely truthful at meetings. How can I get around feeling like I am making my own reality by saying it over and over? Within the Big Book of AA it does say that “we can recover”. Not that we are recovering for the rest of our lives. I feel my recovery is based upon my spiritual maintenance now and my higher power has removed my obsession to use. That is a gift I am most grateful for as I know that addiction leads to 3 places, death, jails and institutions. Having this death sentence removed is a miracle only God could give me. I guess my question is … ” How can I carry this philosophy of ” I am ” with me at all times, including 12 step meetings?” I trust the Big Book of Alcoholics completely as it has been proven to work millions of times over as long as you have a connection with a power greater than yourself. Higher power, God, God consciousness or even just Mother Nature. I have seen people keep their sobriety just believing in the group. Group of Drunks, or G.O.D. , for short. It is funny but it works for some. Am I hurting my quest to pure awareness and complete consciousness by stating ” an addict ” after ‘ I am “? Is it o.k. to just practice the feeling of ” I am ” in meditation only and the rest of reality doesn’t necessarily need that feeling. I am confused because Sri Prammanasudh was able to reach ‘enlightenment’ or a higher state of awareness than most by being ” I am “, always. Please let me know how you feel as I have always been helped by your awareness and I have read much of your books. You have been a guide , in the form of an author, for me for quite some time and I owe you a debt of gratitude for the information and paths you have shared with the world. I have been able to understand intellectually and I am learning to experience everyday. It is through experience that I learn the most. You don’t really know a lemon until you taste it, right?

I am 58 years young and have always had a difficult relationship with my mother. She had me when she was 17, married to my father at 16. I know her childhood was tragic, her mother died when she was 4 and was raised by her 17 yr old half-sister and her 19 yr old husband.

I have struggled my entire life to be accepted by her. My father was a serial player and she shut everyone out by a sharp tongue and eating. She attempted suicide when I was 7, but no one ever spoke of the incident. I just remember her in the bed and the ambulances.

But to cut to today, I had not spoken in over 22 years. I decided to call her and I was not an easy conversation as I was not willing to go toe to toe with her about the past. She sent me a note about the anguish of my call–it was not exactly a loving reception. But on my birthday a month later, she sent me a lovely card and a generous gift certificate. I immediately called her to thank her and it was a nice conversation. Later, I sent pictures of my children and grandchildren. Again, I called her and she was polite and said my daughter made a beautiful bride.

Emails have been exchanged thru forward jokes, etc but without any personal commentary. I sent her a couple of gifts thru the internet (indoor flowering bulbs, etc.) I have not heard from her since. I finally sent an email to ask if she received the gifts but to this day –no response.

I feel like if I don’t pick up the phone I may never hear from her again. I realize now that is probably how it is always been but I never had history to compare it to. Needless to say, there is much more to tell than in this brief note to you/ your staff but as sad as I am–I don’t know where to go from here….

I have to acknowledge that she is possibly unable to reach out to me for her own fears but I guess I had hope I was worth that stretch. How do I define this relationship that has been eclipsed by so many years of estrangement….I hoped that by contacting her neither one of us would die before knowing we surely must love one another.

I have been doing TM meditation for almost 2 years and my wife has been doing it longer than that. My wife recently went to Vedanta academy in Pune for 2 weeks and she was told that meditation is no longer good and she said Vedanta is the answer for life. So she has given up meditation and she is now leaving for a 3 year course in the Vedanta academy. I have several questions but lets start with two questions- is meditation bad and is Vedanta really about leaving family and going away from your responsibilities.

I attended your talk tonight at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. You may or may not remember, but as you were signing copies of Jesus I was the one who asked you why you don’t make it a “pro-peace” vow instead of a “non-violence” vow. Wouldn’t a “doing” action be better than a “not-doing” action? Additionally, wouldn’t such a vow potentially lead to an attachment? I very much enjoyed your talk tonight and look forward to learning more.

Question:
I have been self-studying meditation and alternative healing for over 17 years; I will be 37 years old this December. I am not financially stable at the moment. I am in the process of having to move out of my apartment. I have found myself living this cycle of loss every year around the same time for the last 4 years. I have had many breakthroughs spiritually and have helped many do the same. As a healer, I have help people have better lives. My question is, even though my intention in life is to bring love and joy into others lives, why must I go through so many hardships; and how can I bring an end to this cycle?
Answer:
An essential aspect of getting out of this cycle is to shift your perception of this situation so that you don’t frame it as a cycle of loss. That conceptual package in itself sets the image that you are doomed to come back and repeat this current set of circumstances. Focus on what is new and different in your life right now, because there are undeniable differences between the present and your past. Magnify and empower those forces of transformation with gratitude and positive acknowledgement. Gratitude is an immensely powerful force of change that is always available to us if we only stop and take notice. This will help pull you into the present where you are more unencumbered by your past and able to create something useful for yourself.
Love,
Deepak