I find it hard to control what I visualise. For example if I try to visualise that my boyfriend is having fun on his journey in South America, then all of the sudden he gets abducted, beaten or robbed in my visualisation. I have faith in the fact that these horrible things won’t happen to him, but they still pop up inside my head, when I try to visualise that he’s okay.
I have that kind of problems almost no matter what I try to visualise, and even when I’m listening to a guided meditation. What happens most often is, that the happy faces turn into scary, screaming and horrifying faces.
What can I do to gain control over, what I see when I visualise? And is it normal to have this problem?
Struggling to leave a marriage
I am 44 years old and been struggling to leave the marriage. I chose to accept an arranged marriage after a failed relationship due to religion and from encouragement from my family. Since the start of the relationship I had trouble connecting with my spouse and we have been struggling since. I am aware that I contributed heavily to the relationship not being successful since we never had an opportunity to really create a bond in marriage even after having a child. I feel extremely guilty for ruining her life and causing so much pain, and I am very critical of myself and have been trying my best to get her to see that this is not in her best interest as well. I have been to therapist without success since they don’t seem to understand the complexities of the Indian cultural and the complexities in the marriage. It has been about 12 years and our daughter is 8 years old. I have made attempts to leave and she is not willing to accept it and doesn’t allow me to leave because she fears that she will not have a good life after a divorce. She blames me for the failure of the relationship and is not willing to accept that she also contributed to the failure. She sees herself a victim and having been having high blood pressure, which is cause of fear for me to leave her in that situation. It is essential for me to have her accept that is not the victim and she also contributed to the failure of the marriage. We have been fighting a lot about this and it is extremely painful for me to be in this situation, I feel like my life is slipping away however I feel I cannot compromise and leave without making her understand, this would be very damaging for me to deal with. It is important for me to have her see it is not in her best interest to continue with the relationship and make a choice to end it. I feel I cannot leave until she accepts that and not victimizes herself. Please provide me with some suggestions on what and how I can get her toaccept that this is not good for her to be in this unhealthy marriage.
Trusting Your Partner
In a relationship – when one intuitively knows that the other person is being dishonest, and possibly can prove the same, however, the partner tells you to TRUST & have faith blindly – what is the right thing to do? Believe in your STRONG INTUITION or HAVE BLIND FAITH in the other? Am lost right now & a complete dilemma.
Looking for simplicity
I am just over 90 days clean and sober. The few books I have read by you have been a great help. I am very grateful.
I would like to keep my spiritual life simple. The books I have been reading I certainly understand intellectually and they sing to my heart. I truly love this new found spiritual thirst.
However, I need to keep my feet on the ground. I have not been much of a “normal citizen” and working and living in this world is a far cry different matter than living the life of a yogi which frankly seems quite appealing.
Meditation and Ego Concerns
I have been doing PSM meditation faithfully twice a day for at least four or five years, and I am currently experience a lot of fear and self doubt and having trouble sleeping. Why is this?
When I take the ego test, I am totally caught up in ego…..and I don’t really have a sense of WHO I am or WHAT I truly want. How can this be? Where have I missed the boat?