I am having difficulty “seeing God” in others or other things that I deem to be “bad.”  How is it we can “see God” in cancer cells, for example?  How is it we can “see God” in people who are mostly fear based, or angry, like an unhealthy boss or co-worker?  I personally am actually dealing with both issues and would appreciate your thoughts-advice on the matter.

Can I assume that the world that I’m living in with all the systems and attributes (including me, you and the rest of the people and material things ) are just an illusion generated from my perception or my consciousness?
Is all my knowledge also the result of my consciousness? Does every person has each own set of world their creating? Or basically there is no other person. Actually if there’s only SOLE consciousness in this universe, it means “you” actually just part of my imagination/perception?

I am 30 year old single working female, coming from a traditional and conservative family. While growing up, most of the married couples I have seen in my family, even though things seem fine on the surface for them, but I have always sensed lack of fulfillment in their relationships. I have always had this ideal vision of a future partnership, which by no means was perfect, but based on mutual respect, trust and love. I was not willing to compromise this at any cost. I have stood up for myself in front of my family who wanted me to get an arranged marriage at a much younger age.

Lately however, I have been feeling the need for someone in my life. I should also mention that until about 2 years ago, I never felt that need. I was fine being single and never did anything proactive about meeting someone. Also, I have had low self-image about the way I look and had the fear that no one will ever like me on a physical level. I consider myself an intelligent person and don’t have any other major insecurities.

This need to be with someone, fear of not being liked and the sense of urgency as I am getting older has put me in sort of a desperate position where in two of my recent short term relationships I found myself compromising the most important things I wanted in a relationship. To a point that I allowed someone to even disrespect me. And this need has taken such a hold of me that I can’t focus on or appreciate any other areas of my life. Family and social pressure bothers me all the more now that I feel weak within. I also don’t want to keep meeting people in this unhealthy state of mind. Please advise what should I do to come out of this.