I have three young children. My eldest, who is 6 has been asking a lot about God, Jesus and his Soul. I myself have just discovered the difference between my Ego and Me. I am on the path to Enlightenment and loving the process. I would like to teach my children about Ego, consciousness, Enlightenment etc. I would love your advise on where and how to start with my kids ( books, etc)

I find it hard to control what I visualise. For example if I try to visualise that my boyfriend is having fun on his journey in South America, then all of the sudden he gets abducted, beaten or robbed in my visualisation. I have faith in the fact that these horrible things won’t happen to him, but they still pop up inside my head, when I try to visualise that he’s okay.
I have that kind of problems almost no matter what I try to visualise, and even when I’m listening to a guided meditation. What happens most often is, that the happy faces turn into scary, screaming and horrifying faces.
What can I do to gain control over, what I see when I visualise? And is it normal to have this problem?