Coping with Grief

I am the eldest of 12 children and only survivor who did not perish the Australian fires. I feel the guilt being spared from working abroad.
Despite my own problems here, being wiped out financially and facing homelessness, I realize the God I know does not care.
I find myself disgusted and truly disappointed with Him.
I tried to end my life only to awaken alive in a worse way.

Why does he take the lives of precious people who doesn’t want to die yet the ones who truly wants, he keeps alive?
As I read thru your blogs, I can’t help but notice you and your followers are the chosen favorites of a caring God .
As a last call to ease my pain, I want to know your God, your Higher Power.
I have fired and through with mine.
Show me the path to yours.