Finding one’s way after war
I am 23 year old man, a combat veteran of the US ARMY, and had a 15 month deployment to Iraq from which I was diagnosed with PTSD. As a result of my PTSD, my wife and I of two years have just recently decided to divorce. Over the last few days, I realized that my entire life has been spent trying to find some blinding happiness to drive away depression and more importantly fear. But whenever I find this bliss, it of course always fades or dissipates entirely, and I am left feeling the rebound pain of sadness. Now, I feel like something inside me has woken up, and it’s calm and steady and I only desire now to find peace and clarity. I don’t know if it’s a place, or a person, or just a decision, but I feel like living in the next five years and planning my career and worrying about how long I might be alone is all just worthless, because it’s arrogant of me to assume I know what will happen tomorrow. I see today in a whole new light, and feel like a life of peace is all I’ve ever wanted, but I just didn’t know the difference between peace and glee. I’ve read your ideas, checked out your site, and my question is, am I on the right track?