It has been years since my husband died and I’ve done so very well. Yet, now I find that I’m stuck between wanting to move forward and just wanting to reach him and be there forever. Not long ago I met someone who lost their wife a lot earlier than I lost my husband. I found that when I talked to him and he looked at me, it was as if I was talking to my husband and he was looking back at me. Someone suggested that it was the universes way of telling me that I could move on and I’ve been trying to look at it in those terms. I’m a great believer in going with the flow, but I guess that experience has made me very impatient with myself. I’m a wonderful essence and after having 43 years of a beautiful marriage I refuse to chase after happiness, but where I am now is intolerable……..
I know that helping others is a way out of this place, but if I can’t help myself, how in the world can I help others? Friends who have lost a loved one have told me that all of this is normal, but I don’t want to be normal, I want to fly free and live and love again.