I am 58 years young and have always had a difficult relationship with my mother. She had me when she was 17, married to my father at 16. I know her childhood was tragic, her mother died when she was 4 and was raised by her 17 yr old half-sister and her 19 yr old husband.

I have struggled my entire life to be accepted by her. My father was a serial player and she shut everyone out by a sharp tongue and eating. She attempted suicide when I was 7, but no one ever spoke of the incident. I just remember her in the bed and the ambulances.

But to cut to today, I had not spoken in over 22 years. I decided to call her and I was not an easy conversation as I was not willing to go toe to toe with her about the past. She sent me a note about the anguish of my call–it was not exactly a loving reception. But on my birthday a month later, she sent me a lovely card and a generous gift certificate. I immediately called her to thank her and it was a nice conversation. Later, I sent pictures of my children and grandchildren. Again, I called her and she was polite and said my daughter made a beautiful bride.

Emails have been exchanged thru forward jokes, etc but without any personal commentary. I sent her a couple of gifts thru the internet (indoor flowering bulbs, etc.) I have not heard from her since. I finally sent an email to ask if she received the gifts but to this day –no response.

I feel like if I don’t pick up the phone I may never hear from her again. I realize now that is probably how it is always been but I never had history to compare it to. Needless to say, there is much more to tell than in this brief note to you/ your staff but as sad as I am–I don’t know where to go from here….

I have to acknowledge that she is possibly unable to reach out to me for her own fears but I guess I had hope I was worth that stretch. How do I define this relationship that has been eclipsed by so many years of estrangement….I hoped that by contacting her neither one of us would die before knowing we surely must love one another.

I have been doing TM meditation for almost 2 years and my wife has been doing it longer than that. My wife recently went to Vedanta academy in Pune for 2 weeks and she was told that meditation is no longer good and she said Vedanta is the answer for life. So she has given up meditation and she is now leaving for a 3 year course in the Vedanta academy. I have several questions but lets start with two questions- is meditation bad and is Vedanta really about leaving family and going away from your responsibilities.

I attended your talk tonight at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. You may or may not remember, but as you were signing copies of Jesus I was the one who asked you why you don’t make it a “pro-peace” vow instead of a “non-violence” vow. Wouldn’t a “doing” action be better than a “not-doing” action? Additionally, wouldn’t such a vow potentially lead to an attachment? I very much enjoyed your talk tonight and look forward to learning more.

Question:
I have been self-studying meditation and alternative healing for over 17 years; I will be 37 years old this December. I am not financially stable at the moment. I am in the process of having to move out of my apartment. I have found myself living this cycle of loss every year around the same time for the last 4 years. I have had many breakthroughs spiritually and have helped many do the same. As a healer, I have help people have better lives. My question is, even though my intention in life is to bring love and joy into others lives, why must I go through so many hardships; and how can I bring an end to this cycle?
Answer:
An essential aspect of getting out of this cycle is to shift your perception of this situation so that you don’t frame it as a cycle of loss. That conceptual package in itself sets the image that you are doomed to come back and repeat this current set of circumstances. Focus on what is new and different in your life right now, because there are undeniable differences between the present and your past. Magnify and empower those forces of transformation with gratitude and positive acknowledgement. Gratitude is an immensely powerful force of change that is always available to us if we only stop and take notice. This will help pull you into the present where you are more unencumbered by your past and able to create something useful for yourself.
Love,
Deepak

Many years ago someone taught me that if you are having a serious problem with another person you can use a verse from the Bible: Psalm 2.9 (Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; Thou shalt dash them to pieces like a potter’s vessel) and it will help the situation.
I was thinking about the vow of non-violence that you spoke about on your web site, and I was wondering if applying these verses to a situation would be considered violent?