I started meditating recently with the spring 21 day meditation challenge, I started late so I bought it, probably the best thing I have spent money on in a while, thank you and everyone else who contributed to those great meditations, they have really helped me.
I’ve shared them with a friend too and I hope they can help him like they have helped me.
Anyways my question. I cry when I meditate sometimes, why? Uncovering old constrictions and emotions? I can feel that some constrictions have lifted, but also at times I can feel them lingering in the background, and it seems that since the recent constrictions have lifted (being able to leave a draining relationship after being sucked back into it a few times), I’ve gone back, so to say, to past constrictions, namely being nervous in some social situations, more specifically getting nervous when talking to the person I would perhaps like to date. It’s almost as if after I have lifted the more recent toxin, an old one has emerged again. I’ve read your chapter on discovering true self esteem in the 7 keys to happiness and enlightenment and I would like greatly to achieve that state of self-fulfillment and awareness, and I ask myself what am I so scared of in those situations, why do i get to nervous that I freeze? Am I pushing myself too far too fast and expecting too much of myself?
Should I just straight go for it? I don’t want to force it to happen, because that doesn’t work. I tell myself I will plunge ahead but then I freeze almost every time. I would like to let the love and creativity flow but something seems to stop me every time I get to that one point. I’ve listened to the one podcast where David ji talks about choosing one or two things in your life you would like to advance and nurture more, and relationships rings loudly in my heart and soul. I would like to have a good nurturing relationship, I can tell it is what my heart wants. Do you have any advice? Thank you.