I am looking for some clarity for my foggy brain… I used to look for a romantic relationship to fill my deepest insecurities (which of course created much chaos). Now that I am clearer in the principals of “self-referral”, I really don’t know what to look for. (I am not currently with anyone)

Could you provide me with your views on what the true meaning is to be in, look for, and expectations to have in a relationship/partner, as it seems I have absorbed too many superficial ideas.

I’ve been divorced for 2 years now. I had managed to get out of an abusive relationship but it took me 24 years. I’ve been seeking to know myself better which started by dropping out of my strict catholic upbringing. I started seeing a therapist, started dancing again, and now my body is more strengthened through my yoga practice. I still have feelings of inadequacy which brings me to my question. I seemed to have attracted a man into my life who I found a great energy with. I was later disappointed to find out he was 11 years younger than me. I just turned 50 and I feel fantastic and people say I look much younger. I’m so ashamed of my age, and I tend to attract younger men in my life. I continue to see this man who has a young child and is a single parent. He sometimes pokes fun regarding our age differences, but always says that he is attracted by it. I feel anxious about this. This person also has issues with maintaining his body in shape, and is constantly counting calories, and intensely working out. It makes me feel less than when I see I’m not as “tone” as I would like to be. This person also relaxes by smoking cannabis, and claims it helps him function better. Can this be? Now I’m faced with being in a phase in my life where I need to make a decision on what this journey is with him. I truly enjoy his company, but then it takes so much to maintain myself, because I scared about my aging, and I think it would be easier just to call it quits. How do I handle this relationship?

There are extremely challenging things happening in my situation and have been for a prolonged period. I’m wondering if you feel that the universe sometimes sends you a message that this time on the karmic wheel is such a rough ride that it might be better for you and those close to you if you jump off and hope for a smoother ride next time. I have felt extremely suicidal for a couple of months and don’t know what to do as I have children and a family who would be devastated yet I think I bring them pain due to the things that seem to happen in my life. Almost like despite all the love I bring to them I bring them pain as well, which I find unbearable. How can I know which will benefit them more, my being around or out of their way?