Good afternoon, I would like to tell you a brief about something that is happening to me in this moment, but first, I want to apologize about m y English because my native language is Spanish, I come from Venezuela.
I am 37 years old, divorced, and a beautiful girl. Since I have divorced I have never been married again, but I would like to… I´ve been trying to find a partner but until now I don´t have… In July, I registered on an internet page to find a man. I met some men, but I met one that I have had communication with him until now. We have been chatting about 6 month and using a web cam. He is from France, we have a lot of common things, our thoughts are the same, when he feels something I feel the same. In fact, one day he was sick, and I was sick too. The other day he sent me a picture and I realized that he was dressing in the same color shirt as mine. Another day he could not sleep, like me! We have the same dreams, and so on, and some many coincidences.

We are planning to see to each other to find out if we are falling in love. I would like to know if he is my soul mate, why there are a lot of coincidences between us? Since I met him, all I read is about France, whenever a go I see or read  something about France, is there a coincidence or not?

I am currently reading ‘The Way of The Wizard’ and find it to be a most remarkable work. Upon reading the section on bodies, I decided to investigate the various bodies I have (emotional, mental and causal). I was surprised with the level of accumulation, the disorder and conflict that resided in these as I addressed them in relation to various aspects of my life (relationships, money, religious views etc). In the evening I was utterly exhausted as fatigue was clearly being released.

My question is, what do I do next? This activity forms part of a process of inquiry in which I have arisen from a lengthy ‘dark night’ so it is not as if anything new is being brought to light. It is just the depth of the rabbit hole that surprises me and I wish to continue peeling away these layers. I do meditate regularly also and have begun to intimate my true self with more clarity and regularity.

But, returning to the exercise, is it necessary to programme order into these bodies? Do I need to select new beliefs to replace these conflicting and  somewhat chaotic ones? If so, how do I know if I am choosing the right ones?

There is something not quite right about doing this, it seems somewhat artificial- reminiscent of being caught in the trap of the ego seeking enlightenment. I am curious if this desire for ‘new beliefs’ is just a manifestation of my frightened ego as I move into the unknown? Yet, if I do not have these then what?

Any assistance and light you can shed on this is deeply appreciated.