I am struggling internally and I am not sure how to overcome my fears. My wife and I have been together for almost 15 years and this time last year we went through a phase where she questioned her love for me. To make a long story short, I found out that she was attracted to another man and that she was flirting with him at work. We have discussed this at length and are beyond things in the sense that we have renewed our love and bond for each other and have embraced the love we share with abandon. But she is pursuing or has pursued recently a relationship (friendship) with a buddy of the person she was attracted to and is not disclosing any information about this to me. I fear it is to stem a relationship or interaction with the person she was attracted to. I have always struggled with trust and jealously, with control and possessiveness but I thought I was making progress. I so want to let go and just trust in what I believe in my heart to be true but my ego stops me by creating suffering internally, feeding into my fear. I would like to discuss this with her but believe that she will feel that I don’t trust her and it will make the situation worse. I know that she doesn’t have to tell me everything that goes on and that she is free to make her own choices, I just cant seem to overcome my fear and its making my paradise, hell. Any advise on this would be appreciated.

I am struggling internally and I am not sure how to overcome my fears.  My wife and I have been together for almost 15 years and this time last year we went through a phase where she questioned her love for me. To make a long story short, I found out that she was attracted to another man and that she was flirting with him at work.  We have discussed this at length and are beyond things in the sense that we have renewed our love and bond for each other and have embraced the love we share with abandon. But she is pursuing or has pursued recently a relationship (friendship) with a buddy of the person she was attracted to and is not disclosing any information about this to me. I fear it is to stem a relationship or interaction with the person she was attracted to.  I have always struggled with trust and jealously, with control and possessiveness but I thought I was making progress. I so want to let go and just trust in what I believe in my heart to be true but my ego stops me by creating suffering internally, feeding into my fear.  I would like to discuss this with her but believe that she will feel that I don’t trust her and it will make the situation worse.  I know that she doesn’t have to tell me everything that goes on and that she is free to make her own choices, I just cant seem to overcome my fear and its making my paradise, hell.  Any advise on this would be appreciated.

Sorry, I do not speak English. The text below was written in Portuguese and translated by Google. But I need this much response.

I am a 55 year old Brazilian studying and practicing self-taught meditation for 20 years. I am a great admirer of his work. Have read several of his books, interviews, and also attended various films and videos. I know of no other philosopher who can intertwine so accessible concepts of ancient Eastern wisdom with concepts of quantum physics in a simple, concise, transparent and at the same time profound. For me it is a privilege belonging to his generation. Maybe I could not reach the unitary experience of consciousness in this life was not the contagious brilliance of his ideas and his work

The 6th chapter of his book “How to Know God”, makes the following statement:

“The irony of the near-death experiences is that, in return to tell how they felt raptured by the dazzling light that bathing, do not realize that the light was there the whole time. It is your own Self. ”

Then I had this experience of near-death about 10 years ago, never ‘saw’ the presence of light. I would like to know how to feel again the presence of light – the very self – in meditation. Need a lot of response.

I was listening to an audio recording of yours ( a series with you and Wayne Dyer) and you were talking about body knowledge and how it comes down to comfort and discomfort.  The conversation was around listening to the body and if something’s uncomfortable look at what I can do to move towards comfort.  it is a simple concept, but then I think about in my own spiritual practice (I work in Toltec Shamanism) and how we intentional go towards the discomfort in order to move through.  I know I am interpreting what you’re saying through my own filters, but it almost sounds like avoiding discomfort.  If I think about my own life, and I’m sure many people can relate to this, and a situation such as visiting my parents.  Lots of discomfort!  Do I then avoid visiting them and choose instead to sit out in nature or go run off to Mexico (which I do choose often!).  In my spiritual practices, I would look at the discomfort and go sit in it for a while..choosing to sit in he discomfort in order to move through it, to understand it.  I believe there’s even a Chinese proverb about the only way to conquer the dragon is to become one with it.  So, perhaps you can clarify for me what you were speaking about and how this relates to my question?

Seven years ago I met my current husband, I was a single mother with a daughter of 16 years old. When we were dating I did tell him that I don’t want any more children, and he agreed to it even though he didn’t have any kids.

After we got married he changed his mind and said he wants a child and this has been his dream to have a child. We had many fights over this. At that time was 38 and he was 49. He gave an ultimatum that if he doesn’t have he would leave me. I gave up and since I was 39 and we didn’t have that much time, I did the insemination and got pregnant with 3. The fact that I was going to have 3 more kids scared me so much, and during my pregnancy I was so so ,so sick, I couldn’t eat, sleep and my body wasn’t cooperating with me at all, nothing would stay in my stomach even plain water.
After 3 months the doctor told me I need to reduce one of them since there are too many complications. I reduced one and after about a month I had a miscarriage and lost the other 2.
I was relieved and just a little sad, it didn’t effect me that much. My husband was very sad and depressed, after that I did two other inseminations and didn’t get pregnant.
We both gave up because we felt we are too old. Now my husband is very sad that he doesn’t have a child and most of the time depressed. My question to you is should I feel guilty that it didn’t happen for him? Is it my fault that he doesn’t have kid? If there is law of Karma is it possible that this is based on his karma that he shouldn’t have any kid in this life time?
By the way he is a heavy drinker and smoker and that was another strong reason that I didn’t want have kid with him.
I need your insight it means a lot to me since I admire your way of thinking so much.

Thank you for your help.