Question:

You can teach us about the “now” and we can think about being in the “now”, but in order to be in the “now”, we cannot be thinking about it.  How do we reach this mind frame if we cannot force ourselves into being there?  The very act of thinking puts us out of where we desire to be, and it seems almost impossible to stop thinking and just “be”.  Therefore, the instant you realize you are in the “now”, you have just brought yourself out of it.  What can we do to allow ourselves to “be”?

Answer:

You have astutely explained why using the ego directed mind can never take us out of the mind’s realm. What the sages have told us is that we must first transcend thought through meditation where we experience our essential nature, our pure Being in the now. In the beginning, this state of being and silence will be lost after we come out of meditation. However, over time that state of pure consciousness in meditation becomes so firmly established that it is not lost even when we are engaged in our daily activity. This is explained with the analogy of dying a cloth. The early method of dying involved dipping the white cloth in a vat of dye and then putting it in the sunlight where the dye would fade out. But some of the color would remain even after being bleached by the sun. The cloth would be dipped in the vat again and put out in the sun. Again it would fade, but this time a little more of the color would remain than the last time. And so the process of dipping and exposing to the sun would continue, each time making the color stronger and more colorfast. Eventually a time comes when after dipping the cloth in the vat of dye, the sun does not fade it anymore, it has become completely colorfast and permanent.

This is what happens when we dip our awareness into pure consciousness during meditation and then come out into our daily activity and it fades away. But each time a little more of that silent witness, or that presence of the now remains. Eventually the time comes when we engage in all our normal behavior, but we effortlessly maintain that inner attention that is always seated in the present moment. It is a quiet presence of Self that keeps awareness open and unconditioned regardless of what we are doing.

Love,

Deepak

My husband and I met while we were both on the rebound and were both doing a lot of partying which continued far too long into our married life. We both did quit our bad habits however in the following years I focused on the kids and their activities and he worked more hours. Now all the children have moved on and I continually feel alone in a house with 2 people. We don’t share any common interests and I think the love has gone out of the relationship for me. I am afraid beyond comprehension of making a wrong decision and asking for a trial separation. I did once before and was met with an ultimatum so I backed off. The economy is one of the reasons for my choice as I don’t earn enough to support myself. I have also been through periods of anxiety and depression and because I am going through perimenopause I have experienced many ups and downs in my energy and moods. My father also suffered from major depression.
At times I feel so overwhelmed with sadness that I think I need to be alone to sort out things. The next day I may feel better. I am afraid that once I make a decision that there will be no turning back. I question myself so much. Am I being immature and expecting too much? How can I know the answer? I realize this isn’t a yes or no situation but I need guidance as I feel my health is suffering. I have no zest for life anymore. I am too far into the forest to see the trees. Please help.

I have recently, Nov 15-08 to be exact, had enlightenment bestowed on me. It was an explosive experience, I felt timelessness, shapelessness, my DNA activate, pure love, peace and joy – An incredible experience that brought me to my knees in tears. I truly had no idea of what it’s all about.

This experience was not premeditated, that is – I was not working towards enlightenment – in fact, I was unaware that any such thing existed. I have changed my life almost entirely, but I feel more lost now than ever. I feel like I can’t find my path I can’t change my perspective to not just ‘survive’ but to ‘live’.

Deep in my soul / heart I know I am on the wrong path – I also know that I’m looking for the right path with a narrow mind..
Any suggestions on how to broaden my horizons and see the messages being offered from the universe as to the path that will truly make me live / fulfill my purpose?

I am 43, female American, Hispanic, raised in a Catholic family. Since early childhood, I’ve had doubts in the teachings of the Church. At 10, I felt that the Sister teaching catechism class was “lying” to me, expecting the children to believe the bible stories she taught as if they were true. As a teenager, I attended the churches of my friends, seeking words that would make some sense to me and found none. I feel guilty that, in my heart, I am not a Christian. I find the symbols of Christianity morbid: the cross, blood and wounds, the Mother’s pain, and a dark vengeful God who metes out cruel punishments. And so I have not attended church in years, and I rarely discuss religion with others. Most religious people get desperately defensive if questions are raised about their beliefs.

I do believe in a personal connection to God, a bigger, more basic, and more nebulous God than Christ. I’ve taught my children a scientific, stripped-down God who is a part of the mechanism and also the machine itself. And yet I feel lonely and adrift, without a group of others who feel as I do. And, I owe my children more than admissions of doubt, they deserve a fellowship with those who can put them on the path. Where is the religion of serious, intelligent discussion on the nature of our existence and the bond between God and ourselves? Do I have to have a “go-between”, as Christianity teaches, or can I open directly to God? What would I call myself, if not Christian?

My question is about love. I have been in a relationship for five years, he is my first boyfriend. It’s not been an easy relationship, my partner at times has been cold and ignored me. I’ve resisted him and been unhappy. I now realise I am scared at the thought of falling in love, I choose to be with him because I was scared to be alone and wanted security, he has admitted to me that he resisted loving me in case he got hurt as he had in his previous relationship.
However I have been developing spiritually and in the last few years have grown more loving and joyful about life. My boyfriend has been unhappy and hidden himself away, we grew apart and it reached the stage where I decided to end the relationship, I want to explore life and gain more experience with love and sex.

That was my plan anyway. However upon confessing all this to my boyfriend, it was like a massive bubble between us burst. Almost overnight he changed, suddenly he said he realised he loved me, that he loved my soul and was sorry for all the years of distance between us. I now realise that he is a wonderful person, he has wisdom and grace I never imagined. He has also gotten professional help for his problems and is much happier with himself and excited about life. He wants me to stay with him, I know now I love him, but I’m not in love with him (I’m not even sure what in (“in love” means). He says he will wait for me. I feel so sad, I want to be in love with him, the honesty and trust between us now at the end of our relationship is beautiful. He says he will accept any decision I make and will always love me. Can you choose to fall in love with someone? I feel in myself disconnected sexually and emotionally, my parents had a terrible marriage and I swore from a young age I would avoid all that pain, I feel distant from him still, but I want to invite him into my life, I want to share myself with him, to watch him grow. But I can’t force it . I also feel very inexperienced and confused. I have your book, the path to love and wonder if I’m one of those people who will never experience being in love with another person, that I’m too closed off. I should add I am twenty-nine years old and have meditated on and off for ten years, I have experienced unconditional love and bliss during meditation, and can be very loving in other relationships, but when it comes to him, I feel blocked, sexually we have connected on and off, but often during intimate moments I feel fearful and anxious, unable to switch off. I haven’t been with anyone else but I have a feeling that is how I am.

What do you recommend? It’s the area of my life that fills me with the most fear, it’s the one I have to heal.
Can you help me?