Breaking a Relationship Pattern

I’ve been a regular meditator over the years and feel that my life has become much more full and enjoyable from this practice.

When it comes to my relationship with men, however, I feel that something keeps me from breaking a pattern that doesn’t give me what I want. I keep falling for/attracting men who like to spend time with me now and then – especially sexually – but don’t want a closer relationship. So, my current lover is married and has no intention of breaking his marriage. He wants to have sex with me now and then.

But nevertheless, my feelings for him are deep. I try to be strong and brave and not ask of him what he doesn’t want to give me. But I’m frequently experiencing moments of unhappiness because I’m in love with him and he doesn’t love me back. This situation has been going on for more than two years now. Friends have often told me to move on, and that my preoccupation with him is keeping me from finding someone who really loves me and vice versa. And they are probably right. But I feel that I love this man now, during this period of my life, and that a feeling of love doesn’t take into consideration whether the other person has the same feelings or not. On the other hand, I would like to get out of this relationship that doesn’t bring me much joy and happiness.

Do you have something to say about this pattern of feeling love for men that doesn’t really love you back the same way?

Daily Inspiration

Commit yourself to honest feedback. Show that you want to hear the truth and when you give feedback to others be candid but positive. -Deepak Chopra

Jealous of Co-Worker

I work in a small room with my supervisor and another co-worker, and I struggle to maintain harmonious relationships with them. This co-worker is particularly annoying and frustrating to me in that she always likes to be involved in everyone’s business and at the center of attention. Although I have been working here for 2 years now, and she, much longer, the position I was hired in as, is higher than hers, and there has always been a sense of competition between us. I have been treated well by my supervisor, and am working on gaining her trust and confidence in me in order that I might be given opportunities/projects for growth in my skills. This co-worker of mine does good work, yet, I am irritated and jealous when she receives special treatment as well. How do I change my attitude about this situation if I would like to get along with my co-worker and continue climbing up the ladder?

Ego Goals

Your advice has undoubtedly transformed my everyday outlook. You have helped me reduce my stress-levels and by attempting to detach myself from my ego, I feel more at ease and self-aware. However, I am afraid that if I completely let go of my ego, I will let go of my goals (I’ve already tried and I lost motivation). I see life as a game in which we all set our own scoring system. Your scoring system obviously involves a sense of inner peace and harmony. However, I am not interested in obtaining inner peace and harmony alone. My scoring system also involves wealth and power. Because, with wealth and power comes the ability to provide for my family and to give to those in need through charities and organizations that I find to be most efficient. If I were to release my ego entirely, then wouldn’t my desire for wealth and power disappear? Resulting in the suffering of my family and those others who depend on me for financial support? If people do not have the necessities of food, water, shelter, and healthcare, they themselves cannot live to achieve happiness. So how do I structure my scoreboard so that I can feel the benefits of releasing myself from my ego, while maintaining a set of goals?