Prisoner of circumstance

I was wondering if there is any knowledge you have that could help me? I am a prisoner of circumstance. I am 32 years of age and have lived my life in the service of others, protecting others…hoping that one day I would be relieved or that an opportunity would arise to take me out of these circumstances. I could have had a much better life on my own but I would had to have abandoned the ones I loved and other good people. Now, I am still in the same circumstances, time has passed, and I have had no life for myself, yet my situation only worsens, and will only worsen still and with greater swiftness and consequence than before. I would be happy to die, or not exist, though I do not feel depression only anger and now hopelessness. Thank you for your time.